Our addictions are usually caused by us not being loved in the way we want to
be loved. As you know, to have perfect love we must begin with trust and faith in
the thing or person we are loving or being loved by.
Often when we are caught by addictions we have lost trust and faith in so many
things or people that we rely on our addiction to show us the unconditional love
we so desire.
What in our lives does not judge us, does not expect anything of us and is
always there like a donut to love us and give us that wonderful, warm feeling of
being loved. For the food addicted, the humble donut may just be the only
entrance to unconditional love in their life. Often a food addiction comes at a
time when we feel that we cannot trust or have faith in others and even more so,
You will see the same pattern emerging with alcohol or drugs or cigarettes. These
things do not judge us. We can lock ourselves up in what we think is our safe,
little cocoon of our addiction and feel that we are being loved - but in actuality
the opposite is unfolding.
Our addictions are self-compounding because they start to give us the feeling
that the addiction is the ONLY thing we can trust. Therefore the only thing we
can love. The more addicted, the more insulated we become from the authentic
universal flow of love that is always loving us. As the addiction grows we feel
we can't trust anyone, we can't trust the universe, we can't trust fate, we can't
trust ourselves. And so the only thing we can love is the addiction. We lose all
faith in the universe and ourselves. We give all of our power, all of our trust
to our addiction.
it is not until we hit rock bottom that we realise that this limited expression
of love is actually killing us. We, as a being that must be in the full flow of
love to be happy, feel stifled and isolated and depressed when faced with this
limited view of ourselves. We realise that we are supposed to be so much more
loving, but our addiction has us all tied up to one (or two or three) hollow
habits that imprison us with the feeling that the only way we can feel love is
through the addiction.
The answer is as simple as it is difficult.
Thank your addiction and then move on. Thank it for being there, for loving you
when you had nothing else you could trust. Thank it for loving you no matter
what. And then gently explain to yourself that it is time for you to love more
and be loved more. That everyone will be happy, including your addiction when
you open yourself to receive more love and offer more love without expectation
Start slowly. Go out into nature and feel the love that is all around you. It
might be a sunset or a forest but just take the time to really immerse yourself
in your meditations there. Realise that nature loves you and just by breathing
you can breathe in that love. Believe it or not this is not going to be easy. It
is as simple as it is difficult and you will need to practice over and over
again almost always without any feeling of making any progress.
Then open some more. Realise that your friends and family are loving you. Begin
to see that fate is loving you that
nothing happens by accident and everything
that happens is a blessing. Offer gratitude to open your heart more and more. Realise that even your enemies, even though they don’t know it are loving you.
Go and do some volunteer work. Offer your love without condition by helping
others or our little planet. Clean up our beaches or save a whale or work in a
soup kitchen or help someone homeless. I know this sounds flippant. But this is
the part of your recovery that will be the most powerful. To love more, we need
to trust more and have more faith. That only comes from practice - it cannot
come from sitting alone with your addiction. And every time you try will not be
a success by your reckoning, but every time you try will be the biggest
You will see that there is only one lasting cure to every addiction and that is
the flow of love. The more you recognise that the universe is a friendly place
that you can trust and have faith, the more you will rejoice in your wonderful
life. Trust yourself. Have faith in yourself. You are a magnificent and powerful
being that is full of love. You will not be happy until you immerse yourself
completely in that flow of love – there is no simpler way.