One of the main sources of stress is not having clear life directions or
goals. So often we are caught by the urgent things in our lives – our material
responsibilities and day-to-day struggles – that they create their own vicious
cycle within our minds. This vicious cycle often distracts us from the real
meaning of life. This is what we may know as the 'tension loop’.
The 'tension loop' confuses meaning with movement.
Just like a computer, the mind processes data from many sources. The more
programs you run in a computer, the less time it can spend on each program
before having to go and process a little more of the next. The time the
computer spends switching from program to program makes the computer run
slower and slower until it may break down or stop.
The mind works in the same way. Only our programs that run around in circles
using up the minds resources are our fears, anxieties, doubts and worries.
As we run out of resources, the mind (unlike a computer) speeds up. It becomes
so involved by the number of things that it has to do that it spends more
and more of its time switching from one to the other, drawing us further
into the superficial and further away from the analytical and obviously
the intuitive or meditative levels. Worse than that our ability to resolve
anything is diminished as it is as though we keep re-reading the same page
over and over again without taking anything in.
The top five regrets of the dying, as
witnessed by paliative care nurse Bronnie Ware:
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not
the life others expected of me.. "This was the most common regret
of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back
clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.
Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die
knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings
a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.""
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.."This came from every
male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their
partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were
from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners.
All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives
on the treadmill of a work existence."
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others.
As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who
they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to
the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. "Often
they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their
dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had
become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships
slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships
the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when
they are dying."
I wish that I had let myself be happier. "This is a
surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness
is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called
'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their
physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their
selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly
and have silliness in their life again."
We find that we can’t concentrate for very long, we’re flighty and scattered
and it is self-compounding. This 'tension loop' can be permanently transformed
only through calming the mind and allowing a deepening of our awareness.
We need to identify the negative thought patterns in our lives and transform
them into positives. For example, worries are perhaps the most insidious of
all negative thought patterns as within the mind they are like a program that
loops or is never completed.
They use resources, create stress, and are happiest when nothing is ever resolved
or an ‘end-point’ reached. In the end, however, the real problem is not so much
that we may be stressed or sick or having a nervous breakdown, the real problem
is that we have confused ‘busy-ness’ with our life meaning. Meaningful goals
become less and less clearly identified. Every moment can be an opportunity
to reach your real self - to meditate - no matter where you are, or what is
going on around you. It is all a matter of where your consciousness is.
How many times in your life have you wondered about
the meaning of life: Who am I? Why am I here?
Most people have stopped
asking these questions, as if there is perhaps no answer; or if there is, it
must not be necessary to know.
Can you see how absurd this is?
How are we supposed to have clear life goals if we do not know why we are here?
We have all listened to speakers who were very complex in their arguments; and
probably thought ‘I don’t know what he is saying but it sounds important.’ We
have learned to value complexity because in our society it has meant increased
prestige. So the natural progression of this is, that the most important of
all questions must have the most extremely complex answers.
Gladly, for us, the opposite is true. Have you ever said - ‘I know this is right
and it doesn’t matter what anyone says, I know this is something I’ve got to
do’.
Perhaps you touched your heart and continued; ‘because I felt it right here.’
Or perhaps you were reading a particular book or listening to a person speak
and suddenly something they said struck a chord and you found yourself saying
‘Yes, that’s right’. Sometimes these feelings might have even defied logic but
you knew they were true as grass growing for you.
These are the 'Aah' moments of real wisdom. Wisdom requires not thought but
experience, It always feels very simple as it is a revelation of our real self.
It is a meditation experience. What we need to experience wisdom is meditation.
To know the meaning of life, we need it in abundance.
Imagine for a moment that you were the creator of the earth. Would you have
made it so difficult for us to know the meaning of life, that we would have
to renounce all other attachments and travel on a sacred pilgrimage for years
and years until finally arriving at some Himalayan cave, where a holy teacher
in a dim, dark cave would proclaim that the meaning of life was 42?
Or would you make it so simple that it would be sitting right in front of us,
waiting for the child in us to see? And perhaps we, in valuing complexity are
looking for the most complex of all answers to the biggest of all questions,
and continually missing the simplest of truths.
It often seems much easier not to know the meaning of life because in not knowing
we do not have to change anything.
Some of us are subconsciously afraid that knowing the answer might mean a change
to our present life-style. Many of us are not happy with our present state but
fear changing might make it worse.
So ask yourself if you really want to know. Take a moment if you need to, because
once you know it is impossible not to be transformed by knowing. (Wonderful
isn’t it?)
Now try this... Instead of asking what is the meaning of life, simply ask yourself
what puts meaning into your life? What moments would you like to increase? Take
a break to think this over, write some of them down if you’d like, and read
on...
Of the thousands of people to whom we have taught meditation, most describe
very similar moments that are meaningful: Relationships, travelling, laughing,
children, birth, death, experiencing and growing, nature and the like. Virtually
no one ever disagrees. All of these can be reduced to three words - loving,
learning (wisdom) and being happy. (They are always 'Aah' moments)
That’s it. If it sounds simple, that’s because it is. All three qualities mostly
arrive now when fate decides. Meditation shows us, however, that once we start
to focus on these important, meaningful qualities we can begin to invoke them
when we decide.
Now look at all those meaningful moments in your life. You will see that there
are moments where you have experienced the love, wisdom and happiness, that
is your real nature. What Jesus called the kingdom of heaven that is within
you or what Buddha described as the entire universe being within, within all
of us, in this moment right now.
The reason loving, learning and being happy are meaningful is because they are
the qualities of the heart.
This is important: All moments of meaning in our lives
are moments of the heart.
The funny thing is these three words - loving, learning
and being happy are so misunderstood in our world.
We think of each of them in mostly 'outer' ways.
Love Our world says to us that we will be
happy when we find the perfect partner. We will 'find love' outside of ourselves
in terms of our human relationships. Our world says that there is more or less
only one perfect person for us and if we do not find them we will not find love
or be complete or whole. So we need to go outside and find love.
This is an extremely narrow version of love and nigh impossible to find, but
most of us are convinced that we will not know love unless we are riding off
into the sunset with our perfect mate.
From the point of view of meditation and spirituality the reality is almost
the opposite. It says to us that love is vast and huge, that it connects us
to every single atom and it starts right now inside of us. That our relationships
do not solely define our experience of love, that we can know love anywhere
and at any time in infinite measure, watching a sunrise, walking through a forest,
sitting on a train - and that our doorway to this infinite love is our own soul,
our own heart, so that we must begin by loving ourselves and opening up and
developing the muscle that experiences this infinite love.
If we don't accept and love ourselves how will it be possible to experience
anything fully. In short the highest love is defined by the sheer number of
atoms we can reach with our love, with the fewest conditions. This is the experience
of the great masters, the ability to be connected by unconditional love to everyone
and everything. By limiting ourselves to one person, we will never know real
love.
Learning Our world says that we need to go
outside to learn. Go to school, to university or college, go outside and have
lots of experiences, travel and learn. Again, meditation says to us almost the
opposite. It says go within and find wisdom.
You can get lots of intellectual knowledge outside of yourself but real wisdom
comes from within. Many very wise people have had very little intellectual knowledge,
but have been extremely happy, calm and astute. Conversely many extremely intellectual
people are not happy, calm or wise.
Meditation says that the experience of wisdom is another 'Aah' moment where
we touch the wisdom that is inside us at every moment.
When the solution is simple, God is speaking. - Albert
EinsteinKnowledge from science is constantly changing and evolving, over
even the last 100 years our view of the world has changed immensely, but for
over 6000 years the same essential truths derived from meditation that lie at
the heart of all religions, that we all have an eternal soul within us that
possesses infinite love, wisdom and joy has remained unchanged. "Real wisdom
is always simple."
Happiness Our world takes us outside again
and says we will be happy when we have financial security, a career, a house,
a nice family, a strong social life or even a paradise to live in.
It paints a picture of happiness always being at another space and time, 'you
will be happy when... - you have that Porsche, that girlfriend, that party,
win lotto ' but meditation says happiness is not at another place or time -
it is now.
Within us now there is infinite joy, there is infinite bliss, but we simply
do not know how to experience the kingdom of heaven within us.
We glimpse it from time to time in our accidental 'Aah' moments but it is time
for us to realise the infinite bliss that is our real nature.
This is why we meditate Later in Class 6, we will spend more time discussing
this important topic, but first let’s experience it.