Many of us are under the misapprehension that happiness
is defined by a constancy of laughter, an absence of conflict and a lack of
pain.
But it is actually a much different beast, or should I
say dove.
Laughter without connectedness is just empty comedy – it
does not last. Harmony without understanding and love is just a low form of
tolerance. And no pain with no love is just a vacant existence. “It is far
better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”
(Tennyson)
perspective is very simply about connectedness. The more connected we are
with each other, nature and God the happier we will be. This happiness is
about lasting fulfilment. It is not imprisoned by one or two emotions. At
its highest, real and full happiness encapsulates them all.
It is a little like the perfection of nature itself. It
changes. Often. Some days there are cyclones, some there are tornados, often
it is sunny and calm, at other times it is rainy. Every day, though, has its
perfection. Every moment is faultless.
Every emotion, every feeling is an expression of love –
the more love, the higher it will be and the more connected it will make us.
As we have talked about before, pain is like this. Even anger at its highest
can make us happy. Most emotions that we call negative, however, are usually
about disconnecting us from each other, it is only at their absolute
positive pole that they become obviously loving.
I have a friend who felt the most love in her life at the
funeral of her son. She was extremely sad and in pain, but there were
moments were she felt immense love and connectedness. It was the saddest and
happiest and most connected time of her life.
Many women speak of childbirth as the most significant
moment of their lives. A time of the greatest pain, but also, perhaps the
most love, the most connectedness, the most happiness.
For most sports people, the ultimate experience often
comes at the apex of the most pain. The runner, the gymnast, the ballet
dancer tell of pushing through pain to effortlessness and blissfulness. Or
to be even more mainstream, if you have ever done a fun-run you will know
the pain and the bliss. Many artists feel they have to have pain
for them to be creative. That their best works often comes at the time of
most pain.
Many people that have major tragedies occur in their
lives, such as an accident or other near-death experience, recall these
events as turning points, often as epiphanies of great connectedness or
love.
Others have got very angry about an inequality or
injustice and that anger has fuelled a flow of love and connectedness that
became immediately immensely powerful. This oneness is born in anger but
immediately is transformed via determination into the flow of love that
creates enormous happiness.
Some people argue that Christ was not happy being
crucified, but in that great pain, I would contend, came his moments of
highest connectedness and greatest happiness.
To be really happy does not mean there are not events
that from an outsiders point of view look painful. The happy person sees all
of them as expressions of love and is therefore happy.
The point is that to be truly happy we need to fill every
moment, every emotion with the highest love, the highest connectedness.
This is actually the nature of God if you think about it.
Being omnipotent means you are involved in every thing, every experience,
the difference is God is always connected and knows it, and is therefore
ultimately blissful, but also full of pain.
Our paths are all completed in that blissful
connectedness. No matter which journey we take to get there. In the end, it
is the one thing that is sure.
In the beginning, the middle and the end, we are one. The
highest happiness is simply being in the highest flow of love.